I woke up this morning and thought to myself, "Holy crap,
gravity." I then proceeded to microwave an orange for breakfast and lie
on the floor for a while. I discovered the ceiling. And while I'm not
entirely sure you'll believe me, I should tell you that spinning around
on your head is a lot more fun on linoleum than on gravel. That doesn't
matter, in the end, because the mail man answered my door. Which is
weird because I didn't knock. How could I have knocked? I was too busy
hiding in my own refrigerator. Also, the mail man is actually a woman.
She is the femail man.
She threw my mail at me from my doorstep and then closed the door, so I picked up the mail and read it backwards. Apparently, scientists have discovered that solar flares mess with how fast Uranium gets rid of itself. But nobody cares.
Later today, I went to work, but it wasn't my job, so I got fired. I still don't have that job, but that's okay. I have a microwaved orange. I also have a literature class, which I attended. We talked about a doctor who sold his soul to the devil so that he could make historical figures pretend to exist in front of his friends. I don't get it. For a genius, he was kind of an idiot. Good thing we are done with that story. Now we are reading about how a girl dresses up as a guy and falls in love with a guy who is in love with another girl who is in love with the first girl who is disguised as a guy. Also there's a drunk guy.
I bet you didn't know this, but Gus supports Mitt Romney, or at least he follows him on Twitter. So does Griffin. Therefore, so do I. Name's Ichabod Fletchman, sticky-icky to my boys, but that's neither here nor there. The point is this baby's 82% Hawaiian and I've got aaaalll afternoon. Psych! Whaaaaaaaat? Well, that's about all for today.
She threw my mail at me from my doorstep and then closed the door, so I picked up the mail and read it backwards. Apparently, scientists have discovered that solar flares mess with how fast Uranium gets rid of itself. But nobody cares.
Later today, I went to work, but it wasn't my job, so I got fired. I still don't have that job, but that's okay. I have a microwaved orange. I also have a literature class, which I attended. We talked about a doctor who sold his soul to the devil so that he could make historical figures pretend to exist in front of his friends. I don't get it. For a genius, he was kind of an idiot. Good thing we are done with that story. Now we are reading about how a girl dresses up as a guy and falls in love with a guy who is in love with another girl who is in love with the first girl who is disguised as a guy. Also there's a drunk guy.
I bet you didn't know this, but Gus supports Mitt Romney, or at least he follows him on Twitter. So does Griffin. Therefore, so do I. Name's Ichabod Fletchman, sticky-icky to my boys, but that's neither here nor there. The point is this baby's 82% Hawaiian and I've got aaaalll afternoon. Psych! Whaaaaaaaat? Well, that's about all for today.
Don't get caught in the salad.
No comments:
Post a Comment