Betty White just took residence inside my freezer. I am so confused right now. Even more flatulent, a gnome has my credit card. Good thing I made sure it was laced with anthrax. My taxi driver is an arachibutyrophobic man, because his name is Mary. His father before him was named Mary, his father before him was named Mary, and his father before him was named Craig. You know that's right. Whenever I need a ride, I just hail Mary. BOOM!
I'm eatin' your grapes, bro! You don't just go to the blue kitchen and get whatever you want. It's a competition, you silly cow! Beep. Beep.
I'm sure you are wondering how my day went because how could you not be. Right? Right. Calm down, mental patients and fangirls (which are basically the same thing). I was talking to my floorboards when my cousin frowned at my ear and demanded I undress that flat-screen TV. I said no, and he said, "And have you noticed how weird Dr. Pepper tastes? I mean its good. But if you step back and think about it, it has a really weird taste. Its like....spumphy." He's right. I should know. I am so spumphy. You have no idea. Guess what? Last night, I got your grasshopper a ticket to watch the jealousy comet. It will be a blastocyte. Jiggletastic plastic muggle. Finish your plate.
Two words: blophocordingtons.
I like parentheses (well, most parentheses (also, the singular form of that word (which is parentheses) is parenthesis (you'd be surprised (most people are) how many people don't know that (it's a lot (not, like, including the people that don't speak English, though (I don't mean that as a racist statement, of course (not to assume you could already tell (some people probably couldn't (not to imply that you are stupid (although some people really are (that was not intended to make fun of mentally challenged people, of course)))))))(speaking of a lot, there are a lot of parentheses here (way too many, if you ask me (not to say I won't be making more (I am definitely going to make more (I can't stop (Seriously, I can't ((((((((WE HAVE TO GO DEEPER)))))))))))))))))).
Excuse me. I burped. Okay. Okay. Seriously. Like, seriously. Seriously. Why is there a dead man on this table? I wanted a poptart. You stupid waiter. Go wait over there, and think about what you haven't done. Oh no! The poolice! I must absquatulate!
I'm so tired I think I will become a puddle. Take this wrench and fix the sun so it can't move. Or have babies. Large, gaseous, flaming babies. I think we already have those here, actually. No. No. NEVERMIND! It's milk. Bibliobibuli! Those read too much. A hubble bubble is a simple form of the hookah, which, frankly, is nothing but a frivolous boondoogle. Don't eat the crumbly hodgepodge; it's going to jugulate you.
I took a gold-plated test and sold it. I didn't pass, but I got like a hundred dollars. Last time I saw you, Ronald Reagan was trying to scream at about half of something. I don't know what. Nobody knows. . . The trouble I've seen. But! But! Butt! Butte! Olaf! I wasn't trying to commit manslaughter! Oh wait yes I was. Is that an "I ♥ That Guy's Pancreas" T-shirt? I have one just like it...Let's get married.
Evil lipstick makes you kiss everything and everyone. Even government spies, especially when they are going undercover as cross-dressing earwax. That's why I never wear make-up. Also, I am not a lady. I'm a chemist who likes dropping cheese into acid, or at least swan-diving into the koolaid because they wouldn't let me ride the escalator during a rock slide. I hate going home because it's full of talkative soap and garrulous disinfectant. The bubbles contain tiny fairies that die if you poke them with your nose.
Your Honor, I strongly suggest these lawyers be hobbled.
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