Naked Ice Cream

I met a kangaroo that quickly became a speed-bump. It's just impossible to climb an ellipsis. Do not cross that median; you are on the roof. Don't you understand? If so, what exactly do you stand under? Is it a bridge? 'Cause I hear there are trolls under those things. Are you a troll? Do you eat riddles? Do you know any children? Are you particularly fat? I see. With both eyes. That's exactly why the dwarf-lady kept trying to extinguish a fire that didn't exist. That poor oyster...

I am trying to run away from the poolice! Poo!

That little flea really wants to walk on the river, but it would need a crutch, and I just don't have a hospital in my pocket. At least not today. Yesterday was a different story. That was the day I spent screaming at camels, which, incidentally, frightened all of the children at the petting zoo. The headlines read, "I HAVE A TERRIBLE FEVER AND EVERYTHING ITCHES" but I don't know why. It's about time my wallet got some publicity. When toys go to school, it means the students have planted decoys, and the Great Revolution has begun. It involves everyone in the world spinning around aimlessly for absolutely no reason.

Be careful about the bomb. It's on fire. Much like this teddy bear. Yes, I know I am getting third degree burns by holding it in my bear hands, which are not actually attached to my body...which is also on fire. I like to think of it as I am just really hot. All the chicks dig it, albeit only because they are trying to put out the fire using only shovels and dirt. I don't really know where they came from. I am in a locked room with no windows or doors. That is to say that I didn't bring any doors or windows with me to this locked room. All I brought was a bomb, a teddy bear, some bear hands, and lots of shovels.

You can pick any lock at a locksmith's shop. You just point at the lock and say "That one." Oh dear. Would you like these leftover map-crumbs? They're delicious. I like the sky. It snows on bones. Which I find humerus. All mail men are secretly Zeus. You can tell because they shoot lightning at everything. Femail men are an entirely different story, much like yesterday. I stuck a caterpillar in a padlock and watched the magic happen. Most of the time, all that happens is a tiny golfer made a hole in one even though he was standing inside a tulip. He put crisps in my lemonade! POR QUOI???

 I ate your clothes, ice cream. Now you're naked!!!

So, like, I so like your soul, Ike. Also your name is funny, but then again so is the rest of you. I mean, what kind of person looks at a person's toes and goes, "...Tourists?" Well, I suppose I can't complain about Ike's weird. I have weird too. Just a moment ago, I went to a fast-food restaurant with my friends. We had an entire hour's worth of conversation in only three minutes, because we were driving through the drive thru (driver thrus can't spell). Plus, when we got our food, I stuck my face in the bag and whispered "What is your name??"

I just... I want a full-body tattoo of myself.